Written By Mathushaa Sagthidas

Mathushaa Sagthidas Brings You Brown Girl F*cking Magic

Photographer Mathushaa reflects on how her Tamil heritage has influenced her creative practice, the lack of South Asian representation in the creative industry and how she has navigated herself in such environments.

Being South Asian, specifically a Tamil woman, plays a very strong part of not only my identity, but my creative work and process too. Growing up, having been born and raised in London, I used to distance myself from the Tamil part of my identity because I was so focused on fitting in with everyone around me. Living in the UK meant being exposed to Eurocentric beauty standards and therefore being insecure about my thick brows, a “big” nose and two-toned lips.

I overcame my cultural insecurities once I learned to embrace and appreciate the many beautiful aspects of my heritage, in spite of them being perceived as “weird”. So, at this point, I’ve unlearned Eurocentric ideals and developed a slight IDGAF attitude that has contributed towards me reconnecting with my Tamil and South Asian identity. As a creative person, my work has played a pivotal part in how I’ve come to value and cherish being Tamil Eelam*. This influence grew stronger over lockdown, after bonding and collaborating with my mum - learning about her childhood experiences back home in Jaffna, and digging through portraits and still life photos.

*I use the term ancient Tamil word for Sri Lanka, “Eelam”, in acknowledgment of the Tamil genocide during the 1983 to 2009 Sri Lankan Civil War and the reason for my parents’ migration to London.

My Amma (27), Appapa (66), Ammama (61) (mum and maternal grandparents) standing outside their familial home, re-built after the Sri Lankan Civil War, near a “red and white hibiscus tree” (my mum was reminiscing whilst looking at this photo). Jaffna, 1990

My Path to Claiming My Space

I’m Mathushaa Sagthidas, a Tamil-British fashion photographer, creative director, stylist and very occasional speaker/model - as you can see, I'm someone who likes to keep busy and explore various creative ventures and techniques. However, these ventures didn't always involve creating work with my mum: if I go back a good five years, I wasn't even practicing photography. My journey started after taking part in a photography workshop during Sixth Form - this was definitely a turning point in my creative career.

As I chose to explore various creative fields such as fashion promotion and fashion photography, I was also aware of the limitations within my experiences. I felt unable to really dive deep into the subjects that I was drawn to and, for the first time, felt as if I was being moulded to create for someone else, not what I was inspired by. It felt like there was no room for my culture to make its mark and I realised that it would be almost impossible to find people like me (South Asian creatives, let alone female South Asians).

It took a lot for me to leave in search of inclusive spaces, such as Juice Magazine, Pardesi, Asian Woman Festival, A Collective Soul and more, that genuinely cared about creating room for female South Asian creatives, but I soon discovered them through Instagram. I've not only come across so many gifted and brilliant South Asian women, but I've formed so many new bonds with people who care and advocate for South Asian representation, just the way that I do. Seeing these incredible women loving and showcasing their bad b*tch selves, feeling comfortable and confident in front my camera is not only an amazing feeling for me, but it's empowering to see more and more south Asian women love not only just their identities, but their stunning “ethnic” features. It was also having this community of South Asian creatives that could relate to my work and in turn, allow me to feel understood.

South Asian Hair by @mathuxphotos

Looking back, I spent a lot of academic years trying to find creative spaces that accommodated my interest in my culture… only to realise that most institutions weren’t built to provide this. That’s why we need to give more South Asian creatives that platform to inspire others and help others evolve.

If It’s Performative, It’s Not Representation…

“Your diversity campaigns don’t work if there’s no representation behind the scenes” (Aftab, 2021). Representation of all communities is important, but it doesn’t mean anything when it's not sustainable or authentic. Brands have had plenty of opportunities to collaborate with South Asian creatives, such as Rajvi Bhogaita, Peonica Fernando and Nehal Aamir, and accurately represent members of the South Asian community, but seem to miss the mark.

It’s never too late to start being inclusive, but to POC starting out in their creative career, claim your space and let your talent be recognised beyond your identity - show your passion.

Image and Project Credits:

Featured image: “மரபுகள் (Heritage)” - a shoot inspired by y2k wedding guests looks.